June 30, 2012
Pains Unmasked and Raw

Hi, it's Sarah. Josh is still in no shape to post again this week.

I want to start by thanking our awesome web administrator for having our back, not just here online, but watching us technologically and getting his friend Madam Sarcova to watch over us too, during our harrowing experience with MyWayNow. I want to thank Madam Sarcova too.

I don't know what to say. I still feel kind of numb, but at the same time I'm really concerned about Josh. I can't image the guilt he feels. It doesn't matter what a reprehensible, monstrous, wretch, MyWayNow was, Josh still killed a man.

I've tried to console him, both in the traditional way a loved one would and with my gift, but it doesn't last, and it won't help him heal anyway.

Myron contacted me, but I'm afraid I was short and more than a little rude with him. I honestly don't think he is all that tightly involved in with the Protectorate, and I agree with the admin they dropped the ball on this. They should have known Josh was doing this. He couldn't let people die in his name. They should have been there, not just to protect Josh from MyWayNow, but also what if the O.S.I.R. had been there? What if the ungifted had shown up for the sights. They're not supposed to see things like that. I will never forget what I saw, and I knew it could come to that, I feared it all along.

If I didn't know every intimate detail, and if I didn't love Josh dearly, I don't know what I would make of the way MyWayNow died, even though Josh had no other choice, except to die and let that madman continue his murderous rampage, starting with me.

Stay strong Josh! Struggle with it until you can learn to carry it without stumbling, and it becomes a lighter burden over time. I need you, and I love you.

Sarah.

Tags: atrocity, burden, empathy (psychic), guilt, Joshua Rhoads, love, Madam Sarcova, murder, MyWayNow, O.S.I.R., The Protectorate, Sarah Jayne, surveillance, web administrator.